Hold the Phone--Why is the Floor Purple?

Because typing is decidedly less creepy than talking to yourself.

I write a lot. I read even more. You can find my writing at: http://www.fanfiction.net/~yourfairygodfather

Have an LJ? Come find me at SeeAlexWrite.livejournal.com



Hi!

Acclimating to a radically different time zone means staying up til 5am reading fanfiction on purpose:

It also means that, while organizing the extremely important final details of rapidly-upcoming international travel, I am utterly useless during about 50% of business hours:

(I just keep reminding myself that people far stupider and less organized than I have managed to pull this off. It usually works until I remember that I 1.) don’t speak or read any Asian languages, which tends to be a disadvantage in, say, Asia, and 2.) can’t sleep on airplanes. Whoops.)

turianbatman:

Do you expect me to talk?
No, Ms. Bond. I expect you to die!

(via ileliberte)

  • DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
  • Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
  • DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
  • Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
  • DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
  • Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
  • DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
  • Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
  • DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
  • Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
  • DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
  • Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS SWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
  • DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
  • Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
  • DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
  • Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
  • DC: Wait-
  • Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
  • DC: I didn't-
  • Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
  • Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
  • Marvel: PEACE

jensen-fuckles:

The new harry potter movie looks great

(via wesleytaytay)

  • Cousin's Fiancee: I just can't imagine you being unpleasant to be around.
  • YFG: That's because you haven't seen me before 9am. Trust me, it's bad--too much blood in my caffeine.
  • CF: ...what?
  • CF: Oh, you mean too much caffeine in your bloodstream.
  • YFG: No, I said it right the first time.

gentledom:

A wonderful analogy.

(via lookninjas)

Requested transcripts on Monday night from 3 schools in order to provide them to a 3rd party, etc, etc.

36 hours later, manila envelope full of academic prowess from my local CC is in my mailbox. 

Like, I can’t even get to the post office to buy stamps within 36 hours; who the hell is working in that office, and how can I arrange for him/her to get a motherfucking raise?

ofgeography:

nature & hippie blog 

every day that i’m alive is just another fucking day that i don’t live in a treehouse.

Hi sorry my stuff is in the truck is this a good time to move in?

hughxjackman:

"Sorry, I’m just not very good with violence…"

(via wesleytaytay)

“I have people for this, you know,” she drawled, as Sherlock accidentally sent an oversized screw bouncing into his lap. “They could take over from here.”

Sherlock’s expression was highly skeptical. “You have minions specifically tasked with the acquisition of seasonally appropriate foliage?” he asked dryly, not looking up from the tree stand. “I cannot imagine what sort of training they must endure.”

“I have people for this, you know,” she drawled, as Sherlock accidentally sent an oversized screw bouncing into his lap. “They could take over from here.”

Sherlock’s expression was highly skeptical. “You have minions specifically tasked with the acquisition of seasonally appropriate foliage?” he asked dryly, not looking up from the tree stand. “I cannot imagine what sort of training they must endure.”